Tyrant Elves and Reindeer
by Terra Tenshi
Summary: My Christmas Present to all Slash fans. Leon and Chris discuss vacation policy at Umbrella and then get in a little R and R of their own. ChrisLeon, established relationship. Now updated with a sequelshort. Sixth story in my Yaoi Advent Calendar '06!
1. Tyrant Evils and Reindeer

Warnings: Male/male relationships, kissing, a blowjob, and three bad words.

**Tyrant Elves and Reindeer**

By: Hime-dono (aka Terra Tenshi)

"Tyrant elves and reindeer."

Leon blinked rapidly for several seconds before turning to look at his cellmate in disbelief.

"I can**_not_** have just heard that right." He muttered shaking his head to clear it. Chris smirked at him.

"Think about it for a minute, why the hell would Umbrella bother to put a facility at the North Pole in the middle of nowhere if they weren't planning to experiment on elves and reindeer?" Chris asked mock-innocently. Leon blinked then shook his head and looked away. A few moments passed in silence before he looked up.

"Elves? You mean those little green things with the pointy ears?" Chris nodded.

"Yeah, the ones that make toys for Santa." That earned him a glower.

"Why would they want to experiment on toy making elves?" Leon's voice was disbelieving. Chris shook his head.

"Why does Umbrella do anything? Because they're sick fucks." A pause, then, "Where is everyone anyway?" Leon shrugged.

"Maybe we finally found out why so many people agree to work for Umbrella. In addition to getting to be part of the perversion of the scientific community you're guaranteed all major holiday's off." Chris looked at him oddly.

"You think they just took the day off?" Leon shifted.

"Better than the alternative explanation." Chris groaned.

"Another spill?" Chris groaned again. "You'd think they'd learn to put childproof caps on their hazardous chemicals." Leon sighed, there was a moment of silence and then...

"You know we should be working on getting out of here." Chris nodded.

"Yeah."

"And something nasty is going to attack us as soon as we leave." Chris nodded again.

"Yeah."

"Damn." Leon sighed. "Well this sucks."

"Naturally." Chris smirked. "Speaking of sucking.." Leon glared out of the corner of his eye.

"Do you ever think about anything other than sex?" Chris smiled at him slyly.

"Around you? Never." Chris lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Besides, who said anything about sex?" Leon glanced up and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm listening." Chris smirked and leaned up and across Leon bringing them face to face.

"Suck, my dear. Suck. Suck. Suck..." He leaned forward and kissed Leon lightly before sliding gracefully to the floor on his knees.

Long fingers stroked across rough denim drawing soft murmurs and gasps from his lover. Chris smirked devilishly as he slowly popped the button and pulled down the zipper. He slipped his hand into Leon's boxers, gun callused palm and fingers rubbing against hardened flesh. After a few moments of torment he pulled back to start tugging at Leon's pants, Leon obediently lifted his hips to allow him to slide his jeans and boxers down far enough to expose him completely. Chris' hands petted Leon for a minute, hands sliding along the soft skin of his inner thighs and fingers tangling in his pubic hair. Slowly, gently, long fingers curled around him drawing a breathy moan from his lover. Chris' pink tongue darted out to lap at the head drawing what could only be called a whimper from Leon. Chris slowly parted his lips and took him steadily down his throat. He moved steadily, head bobbing up and down causing his cheeks to hollow inward with suction.

"Chris..." Leon whimpered, tangling fingers in his boyfriends' hair. Chris hummed softly sending vibrations up and down his lovers' length causing him to cry out and buck his hips suddenly, spilling quickly down Chris' throat. Slowly Chris pulled back, letting Leon slip free and licking his lips clean. He smirked at his spent lover.

"Yum." Leon laughed weakly in response.

Half an hour later the two men were well on their way to escaping the Umbrella lab, easily slipping by patrols of late night watchmen who were more focused on bitching about how everyone but them got Christmas off than they were on stopping a couple of escaping prisoners.

AN: Here's the second of my Yaoi advent calendar. So far I'm doing good on keeping to my timeline. Unfortunately I didn't have time to get this story beta-read so I apologize for any and all mistakes made in this. If you tell me about them I will correct them ASAP. As always C&C welcome and reviews are much appreciated. Oh and if you're wondering how Chris and Leon got together try yaoijunkie's _Cierta Muerte_ it's the fic that first got me in to Chris/Leon slash.

Disclaimer: Honestly, if I owned Resident Evil not only would Chris and Leon be together in every game they would totally be getting it on off screen.

_**MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!**_


	2. The 12 Days Of Resident Evil

Warnings: Male/Male, established relationship, a kiss, and discussion of sexual relations

**The Twelve Days of Resident Evil**

By: Hime-dono (aka Terra Tenshi)

"On the first day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. A hot guy in a police vest."

At this Leon blushed, although Chris knew that if he asked Leon would firmly deny having blushed, which in reality just made him cuter.

"On the second day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

Chris patted his guns fondly in their holsters, Leon rolled his eyes.

"On the third day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Three prison blowjobs, two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

And there went the blush again. Chris smirked.

"On the fourth day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Four vials of anti-virus, three prison blow jobs, two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

That had been a godsend in and of itself, it made it that much more likely that they'd be able to get themselves out of here alive.

"On the fifth day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Five rocket launchers, four vials of anti-virus, three prison blow jobs, two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

Of course all but the last of these had been used in the taking down of various tyrants, honestly didn't Umbrella have anything better to do with their time?

"On the sixth day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Six loaded cartridges, five rocket launchers, four vials of anti-virus, three prison blow jobs, two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

Not that Umbrella Corp. employees weren't usually stupid enough to leave live ammo lying around, but hey, it was the thought that counted.

"On the seventh day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Seven pieces of eye candy, six loaded cartridges, five rocket launchers, four vials of anti-virus, three prison blow jobs, two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

Leon frowned, probably mentally trying to figure out who the other six were. Hopefully he'd get jealous possessive so that they could spend a good couple days in bed, rather then jealous angry in which case he'd spend his nights sleeping alone.

"On the eight day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Eight mauled scientists, seven pieces of eye candy, six loaded cartridges, five rocket launchers, four vials of anti-virus, three prison blow jobs, two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

He should probably feel bad about that line but there was something so immensely satisfying about seeing such evil people dead at the hands of their own creations.

"On the ninth day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Nine stupid guards, eight mauled scientists, seven pieces of eye candy, six loaded cartridges, five rocket launchers, four vials of anti-virus, three prison blow jobs, two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

Stupid guards were so useful, both as cannon fodder and as unwitting accomplices to their escape.

"On the tenth day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Ten handy chocolate bars, nine stupid guards, eight mauled scientists, seven pieces of eye candy, six loaded cartridges, five rocket launchers, four vials of anti-virus, three prison blow jobs, two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

Thank God for scientists with munchies, the chocolate had been so much tastier and more filling then their normal fare of emergency rations and granola bars.

"On the eleventh day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Eleven secret passages, ten handy chocolate bars, nine stupid guards, eight mauled scientists, seven pieces of eye candy, six loaded cartridges, five rocket launchers, four vials of anti-virus, three prison blow jobs, two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

Thanks to those secret passages they were only a few levels below the sub level now.

"On the twelfth day of Christmas, Umbrella gave to me. Twelve sub-levels, eleven secret passages, ten handy chocolate bars, nine stupid guards, eight mauled scientists, seven pieces of eye candy, six loaded cartridges, five rocket launchers, four vials of anti-virus, three prison blow jobs, two magnums, and a hot guy in a police vest."

Only twelve levels rather than the usual thirty or forty made their escaping so much easier.

Leon glared at him. "Are you done now?" he asked, irritated by the fact that his partner seemed more concerned with singing than with escaping. Chris shrugged. A few minutes later, he began to hum again.

"Jingle bells, Birkin smells, Umbrella laid an egg. The-"

If someone had asked Leon later, what prompted him to shove his boyfriend up against a wall and kiss him in the middle of a broken down and infected Umbrella Corp. lab while they should have been trying to escape he would have replied that it was self preservation. Because if he had to listen to one more warped Christmas carol he would have shot Chris. And if he did that he wouldn't have been able to live with himself, so logically kissing him was the only solution.

AN: Like both Kingdom Hearts and Legal Drug this is the short extra piece to accompany last year's story. It works as a sequel if you want to look at it that way. Much thanks to Hikari, without whom this would not have been written.

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, as proven by the fact that Leon aren't regularly in the same game, let alone the same team.

_**MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!**_


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